Banging Girls From Odessa: 5-day Bachelor Party in Ukrainian Heaven!
In the summer of 2016 my mate Vlad from Kiev asked his high-school sweetheart to marry him. As our male group of friends comes in all different sizes and nationalities – we decided that the bachelor party should exceed the level of epicness of the famous 2009 blockbuster; The Hangover.
Easier said than done, right?
Well – Yes and No.
I had already been working in Ukraine for sometime and even though I had my fair share of partying in Kiev it was a nice challenge to organise the bachelor party for Vlad.
The group started brainstorming right away. The famous places were on the top of our list;
Locations that are known for great clubs and bars – but would not cost a fortune to fly to.
A few beers later..
We decided that Amsterdam would be our first choice and Moscow the second. Unfortunately, we found out pretty quickly that three of our four Ukrainian friends could not get a visa for Europe. This was before Ukraine became part of the Schengen agreement.
Shit – Ok Moscow it is.
Well, for about 5 minutes as in the upcoming weeks Mr. Putin and Mr. Poroshenko decided they did not like each other anymore. The result? A travel ban between Ukraine and Russia..
Damm, is there any party place that we don’t have this drama?
Sure, mate. It might not be very exotic, but:
What about Odessa?
Odessa? I thought most Ukrainian people would not be interested in having a bachelor party in their own backyard?
After a few hours of research on Google it seemed that Odessa would actually be the perfect place to have an unforgettable experience. Hot Odessa Girls, strippers, great restaurants, cheap as hell and we had 4 guys who could speak the language fluently and be the perfect wingmen.
Ok great – Odessa it was!
Odessa can easily be reached from Kiev by either plane or train. Everyday several flights fly directly to the beach-town and a return ticket costs around 150 USD. These days you can also take a train ride with the new intercity between Kiev and Odessa. This will cost you around 25-35 USD for a single ticket. The ride itself takes up to 8 hours but it shows some beautiful scenery of the Ukrainian countryside.
Once you arrive at the Odessa-Holovna train station you can take a taxi. This will bring you to the city centre for just 3 USD. From the airport it takes about 20 minutes and will cost you around 10 USD.
Long story short: Cheap destination, around the corner and notorious for having great parties.
Awesome! Where do we stay:
City centre or Arcadia beach?
This is actually a trick question.
The answer is : both!
We would stay for two days in the city centre and afterwards move for the weekend to the famous Arcadia beach.
The distance between both locations is about 25 minutes by taxi. Our plan was to get wasted and hook-up with girls, therefore we wanted to make sure that our apartments would be walking distance for the nightclub or bars.
Trust me, you don’t want to be wasted in a Ukrainian taxi with a hot women from Odessa. The chance you get either ripped off by her, the taxi driver or the massive amounts of alcohol you consumed can be quit high.
Now that we decided where we were going to stay it was time to bring our A game. Old-town Odessa would offer great restaurants, strip clubs, bars and lots of fun activities to do with your mates.
Arcadia beach is notorious for its nightclubs and ladies of the night. Also a lot of Ukrainian girls would visit this area as Odessa is a their only beach-town destination after Russia claimed Crimea in march 2014.
All the pretty girls of Ukraine stuck on halve a mile of beach..
A good preparation is half the battle
I never leave anything to chance. Especially when planning a weekend out with the guys. We had one mission in mind for this bachelor party and that was to have as much fun possible with as many beautiful Ukrainian ladies.
About one week before our trip we all took a paid membership on Ukraine date and Tinder. We made a deal with ourselves that we would try to talk to as many girls as possible before we were heading out to Odessa. This way we would have a back-up plan incase the pick-up lines at bars and nightclubs would not work.
On average we collected around 6 phone numbers or WhatsApp numbers for every 50 girls we would talk to online. Not bad – but because of the summer we knew that a lot of girls would not be actively involved in online dating.
12% succes rate. Not bad!
Partying in down-town Odessa
Our apartments were located nearby the Odessa Opera. This was right in the city centre and we could walk to every bar, nightclub, restaurant and stripbar in the area.
Where to stay
If you are really looking to hook-up with girls I always recommend you take an apartment. Some of the hotels with receptionists do not allow “guests” to stay over for the night. If you do plan to book a hotel, make sure you ask the reception beforehand if they are a guest friendly hotel. If they are, most of the time they will only ask for the ID of the girl.
Hotels are on average between 50 USD per night. In the high-season this can go up very quickly. An apartment costs 30 USD up to 75 USD per night.
Where to eat
Some of our favorite restaurants were Salieri, Farsh. Burgers and Meat, Steakhouse meat and wine and Jardin. On average you can have a good meal between 6 and 15 USD. With the meat dishes being most expensive.
Alcohol is and always will be cheap. Vodka is around 3 USD per bottle (in the shops) and normally a bottle of local champagne is around 6 USD (200 UAH).
I am sure you can understand now why Odessa was the perfect place to have our bachelor party!
Important note: When you are eating in a restaurant make sure you always ask for an English menu if you do not speak the local language. Also double-check the prices as some waiters like to overcharge European and American people.
If they do not provide an English menu – I recommend you go to a different restaurant. Some places work together with local girls and these girls get a commission if they bring you to their restaurant. Once you are there they will overcharge you big-time.
Babes and bullets
After the check-in and lunch it was time to do our first activity.
Can you guess what it was?
Well – it starts with the letters AK and it ends with the numbers… 47.
Maybe it is the Western-European mentality in me, but for me Ukraine and Russia always had this bad-ass image when it comes to guns, tanks and just doing manly stuff!
Heck, before the conflict between Russia and Ukraine started in 2013, it was even allowed to have tourists fly MIG fighter jets nearby Kiev.
Supervised of course – but still, WTF!
The excursion with the MIG airplanes are canceled, but driving a tank or shooting an AK-47 isn’t!
An average you pay around 30-35 UAH (around 1.25 USD) per bullet. It is an expensive little activity if you decide to go full “Call of Duty” and start spraying the room.
My recommendation: Choose your three favorite guns/pistols and split your budget between the three of them. On average I would spent around 100 USD.
And don’t be fooled by the super hot blonde behind the counter that will give you the briefing. She is a beautiful lady, very charming and a very good sales lady. Thankfully – in a good way but they will always try to push you a bit towards the more expensive packages.
Fair enough as she looked super hot and would hang out with us later that night!
P.S – The assault rifle in the picture was just a dummy that they use during the briefing. 😉
After dinner we decided to go back to our apartments and get ready for the first night out. We took out fancy outfits, set up some ground rules incase one of the roommates would get lucky and started texting our online catches from the previous chapter “A good preparation is half the battle”.
Of course – We did all these activities whilst doing shot after shot of vodka and playing some local music on the TV.
Which reminds me, if you ever want to get in the mood I recommend you watch the Ukrainian version of MTV.
It makes the Playboy channel back home look like Sesame street!
Anyway – Around 10.00 pm it was time to hit the first bar.
We decided to do our own version of a Pub Crawl and made sure that every bar owner knew that Vlad was the sucker that was going to get married.
Bachelor parties are common in Ukraine, but not with foreigners. Therefore, we gave some extra money (about 20 USD) to the staff each time we would go in the bar and asked them to make it as crazy and wild as possible for our bachelor…
And us! But we didn’t mention that to the bachelor! 😉
Well, we think it was. Nobody seems to remember exactly..
First stop- Warming up in the beer garden!
Pivnoy Sad (Ukrainian for beer garden) – This place is a nice relaxing hang out that allows you to warm up a bit for the night to come. They have local beers – but most of them are imported. At this point we did not care as we already consumed a lot of vodka. We just wanted to put some extra fuel in our bodies with their delicious beer snacks.
After an hour we decided we were in need of some Irish spirit!
Second stop – Drinks with a Irish twist
Mick O’Neills. A great Irish pub that is located nearby the beer garden. Me and Richard met up with a couple of fun girls that we met on this Ukrainian dating site. We chatted a lot and they seemed really nice and interested.
By this time the levels of alcohol in our bodies reached an all time high and one of the guys spilled the beans and told the girls that would explore some strip clubs later on.
Ouch! We crashed and burned very quickly and the girls left.
We did not care though. They were nice but we were going to see some boobs anyway!
Third stop – strippers from heaven!
The best place of the evening. Prices were good, host was nice and the girls were S-M-O-K-I-N-G hot! We stayed for 3 hours and the people took such good care of us that we end of giving a huge tip to the girls and manager for their fantastic service.
The acts are a mix between sexy lap dances, funny interactions ( we had to do some role-play) and of course lots of shots. I think the girls enjoyed it because we were calm, young and respectful. One mentioned that some guys start grabbing right away and it always results in them being kicked out.
Listen – I agree that most strip clubs are a waste of money because you can never go all the way. But if you can order drinks for a great price, have a great host, hot girls playing with your hair and showing some moves, it is totally worth it.
We took a shitload of pictures together with the girls – but the manager was very clear that we should not post them without permission. As I am a guy of my word (and the manager was such a cool guy) you can check out the below promotional video of the club.
Fourth stop – Grandma lapdances
Rasputin Strip Club – Located about 100 meters from the Burlesque Strip Club. I can be honest and quick about this one;
It is shit!
They bouncers tried to rip us off with the entry fee and did not know we had Russian speaking people amongst the group. They apologized and let us in for free, but the place was totally empty. We looked around and saw very average OLD looking strippers that looked like they were bored out of their minds!
Time to run, guys. Before grandma will try to give you a lapdance!
Fifth stop – Cocktails at Central bar
The final bar of the night. A nice cocktail bar that is located next to the famous Odessa stairs. Great people, easy going atmosphere and by the time we got there it wasn’t as busy.
Paid around 5 USD per cocktail and 3 USD for a shot. By this time we lost two of our Ukrainian mates (we found at later that they passed out outside on a park bench) and Vlad the bachelor decided to call it a day.
Thankfully, we encountered the girls from the Irish bar again. They were still a bit pissed that we went to the Strip Club – but after buying them a few drinks, doing some smooth talking we were back in business!
Richard got lucky that night – I didn’t..
The next morning..
Well – We all know that feeling after a long night. The hangover was massive. Everybody just wanted to relax as we knew the next day we would party at Arcadia beach.
I decided to text some more girls – but unfortunately the respond rate was low..
But guess who did reply?
Inna from the gun club! I invited her for lunch and we spent the entire day relaxing at the park and talking about random stuff. I was happy to see how her beauty matched her intelligence.
If you compare it to Western Europe or the States you just can’t quite wrap your head around it. How come the girls from Ukraine are so beautiful, yet so humble? They all of that cute “Girl next door” vibe going on and are super easy going. I loved it.
We made out a bit – but nothing else happend. She knew the reason why we were in Odessa.
It kind of sucked because I really felt we had a good connection.
But that’s life.. What can I tell you?
Nightclubs, beaches and babes
On the third day we said our goodbye to old-town Odessa. We moved our camp to Arcadia beach. Ready to catch our breath at the shores of the Black Sea.
Arcadia beach is an interesting area. You can find a wide variety of entertainment and great bars and restaurants. The new boulevard also has a small waterpark. There is even a gym at the beginning where you can do your work-outs in the open air.
During the day we stayed at the Bono Beach Club and Ibiza Club. Both have a great menu and access to the beach. If the beach is not really your thing (Black sea has almost no salt and is bloody cold!) you can also take a dip in the pool. We paid around 10 USD each to get in. Drinks are around 3-8 USD ranging from a single beer to an expensive cocktail.
Food was ok. Nothing special – but cheap and perfect for a day at the beach. The girls were beautiful but most of them were eye-candy working for the company.
For the next days we explored the strip and found that the Ibiza Nightclub was our favorite. By this time we invited a group of 4 girls from our online dating pool and hanged out with them most of the time.
Ibiza nightclub charges around 400 UAH for a VIP package. It is a fun place. You will see a lot of diversity in the women – but I recommend you do not put your focus on picking up girls on the spot. Most of them are with their rich Russian sugar daddies or are prostitutes.
Go with female friends and ask them to bring their girlfriends as well. Forget about the high maintenance Instagram models. Focus, and you can still sleep with solid 7’s and 8’s.
Those two nights I made out with 3 girls and take two back to the apartment. When you want to hook up with girls in Odessa you should make sure that you set realistic goals.
Yes – there are a lot of scammers, but to tell you the honest truth. Scammers are too easy to spot. We have encountered dozens of men that will subscribe with a Odessa dating agency, take the bus and drive to different places all over town to meet women.
You will see them walking on the beach. The girl almost 20 years young to them and 100 pounds lighter. Romantic and sweet together with their translator..
Yeah – How it that working out for you?
Long story short: I love, Odessa!
On the 5th day we left early in the morning back to Kiev.
- Go with a group of friends where at least one speaks the local language
- If you pick up a girl make sure you choose the right restaurant. Check the prices and ask for an English menu.
- Find the right Strip club. Some are amazing, others are horrible.
- Odessa is slightly cheaper compared to Kiev. More expensive than Lviv.
- Be realistic with your dating goals. If you focus on solid 10’s be prepared to be scammed or talking to a prostitute.
Looks Of Women: 5/5
Pick Up Success-Rate: 3.5/5 (Is better when you speak a little Russian or Ukrainian)
English Levels: 4/5 (Was very surprised about this. It is worse in Kiev)
If you have any questions please leave a comment below or just e-mail me directly!
Have fun in Odessa!